- Bre :)
They’re looking for love. Yeah. Love. Everyone is dead. Who’s going to love them? No one is left to love them! SO! I will love them! Will all of my broken heart. Yes, I will love them and feed them and care for them and take them for walks and save them from the mutants when they are taken. That is my new life mission. I will save every last one of the dogs. Those wonderfully smelly dogs, those emaciated canines. Before the big ‘splosion, I had a dog of my own – AND I LOVED HIM. I loved him more than anything! He was MINE and NO ONE ELSE’S. Now he’s dead! Dead! Just like my friends! They’re all dead! But not these dogs, NO, they’re not dead. They’re just alone. Not alone! Now I am here and I will save every last one of them from a terrible, lonely death! Everyone wins. Except everyone else because they’re dead. With no dogs.
Excerpt number TWO. Kind of an excerpt… Not really an excerpt… Because it’s not a part of a greater body of work. I don’t think this – or the other paragraph – is an excerpt anymore. What shall I call it? A DILAPIDATED OLD MAN, that’s what! My DILAPIDATED OLD MAN is glorious! Glorious, I say! Why, what else can I call it? Fantastic, perhaps? Phantasmagorical even! This DILAPIDATED OLD MAN is one of the greatest pieces of work that I have ever composed. Well, I suppose one of two of the greatest pieces of work that I have ever composed. It is so wonderful, in fact, that I should receive an award for its loveliness. Never have I ever been commended for my writing – EVER. WHY! Am I not good enough for the Pompous Writers’ Society of Old FOOLS!? OF COURSE NOT. I am not worthy of being associated with such incredible writers as Stephanie Meyer. She is capable of such things as sparkling disco ball vampires. Never shall I rank as high as that dirt. That trash. So, I leave this DILAPIDATED OLD MAN for other unworthy people like myself to read and enjoy. Enjoy the bitterness. Thank you.
P.S. I have absolutely nothing against Stephanie Meyer! Honest! I read Twilight, and it wasn't too bad. I'm sorry! (><)