Waldon here. I feel horrible, as you may have been able to tell from this blogs entry title. As I've mentioned before, I am a type one juvenile diabetic. Tonight, my body decided not to cooperate again and send my sugar level skyrocketing again. This is a repeat of last week's ( or was it the week before? ) sick day for me. So, I think I'll have to keep this one short and sweet (Ha. That's a PUN. ).
So because the only interesting things that happened to me today was sorting dirty cans and having a couple nosebleeds, I'll talk about something different. The emotional effects of diabetes. Most people think that diabetes is purely physical, and for the most part, it is. But there are still things that pop up in the life of a diabetic that make our, or at least my own, life very difficult. Mostly it's the feeling of inequality. I find myself thinking about how I'm less than everybody. Or about how I shouldn't be here, I should be dead. It's a very mortifying subject to think about.
Diabetes will ruin you. That's the only way I can say it. It makes you feel like you don't deserve what everybody else has. I feel like I'm some blight on society and on particularly bad days I wish I hadn't been born. I've resolved never to have kids, for the one reason; never having the chance of passing on many of my physical defects onto my children. Diabetes, Osgood Schlatter's, Asthma, Distended Lungs, Compressed Heart, Deformed Ribs. . . Diabetes is the root of almost all of this, shaping my body from my first diagnosis. Since that was very early in life, I was kind of tainted, I suppose you could say.
I would love to have kids. There would be nothing more gratifying than being able to shape the life of a child and raise them. But I would never be able to live with myself if I gave them what I have. My life expectancy is low, so I can't hope to keep them happy either. Oh well, I'm sure the girl I like will find another man better for her than me.
Now I'd just like to point out that tonight, this is purely my blood sugar speaking, please don't assume that I'm some Emo kid thrashing about life. I'm not normally this bad. Ignore this, I'm kind of incapable of thinking of much else at the moment.
Good night everybody, I hope you have a good nights sleep.
-Waldon
So because the only interesting things that happened to me today was sorting dirty cans and having a couple nosebleeds, I'll talk about something different. The emotional effects of diabetes. Most people think that diabetes is purely physical, and for the most part, it is. But there are still things that pop up in the life of a diabetic that make our, or at least my own, life very difficult. Mostly it's the feeling of inequality. I find myself thinking about how I'm less than everybody. Or about how I shouldn't be here, I should be dead. It's a very mortifying subject to think about.
Diabetes will ruin you. That's the only way I can say it. It makes you feel like you don't deserve what everybody else has. I feel like I'm some blight on society and on particularly bad days I wish I hadn't been born. I've resolved never to have kids, for the one reason; never having the chance of passing on many of my physical defects onto my children. Diabetes, Osgood Schlatter's, Asthma, Distended Lungs, Compressed Heart, Deformed Ribs. . . Diabetes is the root of almost all of this, shaping my body from my first diagnosis. Since that was very early in life, I was kind of tainted, I suppose you could say.
I would love to have kids. There would be nothing more gratifying than being able to shape the life of a child and raise them. But I would never be able to live with myself if I gave them what I have. My life expectancy is low, so I can't hope to keep them happy either. Oh well, I'm sure the girl I like will find another man better for her than me.
Now I'd just like to point out that tonight, this is purely my blood sugar speaking, please don't assume that I'm some Emo kid thrashing about life. I'm not normally this bad. Ignore this, I'm kind of incapable of thinking of much else at the moment.
Good night everybody, I hope you have a good nights sleep.
-Waldon
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