...there be Sea Bears and Land Sharks.

Waldon here, and I come before you this evening with a tale of horror and suspense. A tale that will make you shiver in your boots, and break out in a cold sweat. Okay. Maybe not suspense. And it's probably not that scary. But at the very least it's stupid and ADD/Entertaining.

I was thinking earlier, about Sharks and Bears. And then I thought: "What if they switched places?" Think about it. How terrifying would it be to be out fishing with a few buddies, sitting back, drinking a coke or whatever, hands idling on the rod with the line slowly bobbing on the water's surface... and suddenly a BEAR breaks the surface and JUMPS upwards, paws lined in deadly claws, mouth open with it's horrifying maw gaping wide! Picture it. Just do it.

Now, onto our next image. The intrepid explorer, hiking into the highlands in the mountains of Eastern Europe. Looking for the ruins of some long forgotten Keep or Hold. With his eyes ever on the undergrowth, it would be impossible for him to know what was coming next. A great silent predator, quietly gliding it's way through the air, akin to the sea, it's eternal grin fixed with an even longer lasting hunger. It's mouth opens, and the rows of teeth descend, with the shadow growing, you look up, only to see the horrifying black abyss filled with razor sharp implements of rending death closing on your head!

You would never see them coming. The sheer unexpectedness would kill us all. You can't shoot a bear with harpoons if it's in the water! It's too hairy. The harpoons would tangle. It would just enrage the beast. The Shark. You can't shoot it. You can't cut it. It wouldn't be able to kill it with one swipe. Then imagine how angry it would be, it would be enraged to some unworldly level, the catalyst being the smell of it's own blood, and YOUR fear.

We would all be doomed.

But then... it was bound to happen. Somebody had to improve on these monsters. Somebody hated humanity enough to change them for the worse.

Suddenly, they both have lasers.

And the world as we know it, my friends, has changed.

So, my tale ends for the night, because I'm out of ADD. :P
-Waldon



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