I'm not going to lie. the title was just an excuse to use the word patootie. :P

Seriously though. Can you tell I'm tired? xD I'm actually exhausted. I was up very early this morning because my blood was up, and then I had to get ready and go to school. Bre wasn't feeling the greatest, so I was worrying about her all morning even BEFORE I got to school. xD

By 8 30 AM I was waiting in the school lobby for registration to start so I could call Bre and tell her what we needed to do to get all this stuff done. :P

Well, by 9 45 I was done a goodly portion of my registering, but then I met Bre and Deejay there so Bre and I decided to share a locker and save some time and money. While Bre was waiting in line, Deejay and I went to find the lockers and drop Deejays books off in hers.

By 2 PM, all three of us had found our classes, gotten our books, paid our fees and had lunch. It was a good day, don't get me wrong, but I spent a crazy amount of time today just standing around and doing nothing. I'm exhausted. xD

Some other time I'll have to go through the process in detail with all of you, but right now I'm too tired. xD

Good night all!
-Waldon

Waldon here, and my quote this evening is from Cee Lo Green- an artist who's work I'm particularly fond of. My taste in music is extremely varied. I listen to folk, funk, metal, rock, classic rock, classical, soul, techno and almost everything harmonic or instrumental, or more easily; everything that spreads a message or reason. . . aside from sugar pop and hair metal. Lets not talk about those. I am a firm believer in finding the human condition through music and the arts.

We can always spread our message through a song, piece of art or literature. We can show the world our message, without ever once resorting to violence or meaningless hatred. Hatred solves nothing besides vindicating our own fallacies.

I don't write that there like some sort of holy martyr suffering through a world of ignorant savages, I write this as a guy who grew up thinking that violence is the best way to solve a problem, but being taught otherwise. If you could see me, you would think I was a teenage anarchist. But contrary to my brutal appearance, I dislike violence. It hurts. I don't like hurting people.

Earlier tonight, I had dance class. I love dance class. My teacher taught us a few steps for swing dancing. I had no idea it was so fun! On the off chance that she reads this (unlikely) I would like to apologize one more time to my dance partner from this evening. She is MUCH more experienced than I am and I'm ashamed to admit that I dropped her several times. My apologies.

Now, once more into the breach good friends, once more I venture into the fray. I must fight my mathematics assignment, for better or worse for my glory and success. My hope grows thin, but I must press forward. Good night people of the world,
-Waldon

First things first, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRITT!

Waldon here, I thought I would start this blog off with a quote by Friedrich Nietzsche, a man who's ideals changed minds across the world with his philosophies. Although I cannot agree with all of his ideas, what kind of person would I be if I simply accepted the ideas as a whole and didn't make my own choices anyway? I think Nietzsche would be disappointed in us if we simply followed his words like sheep.

I've always prided myself on my ideas and my beliefs. I take a stand within myself to create an individual and I'm not ashamed of my ideas. But unlike many others, I don't feel the need to proclaim those idea's to the masses with indignation or frustration towards any that don't see my way, neither do I have a closed mind for any new idea. I can change. I can keep my ideas to myself,  because the rest of you are capable of making up your own minds within the realm of religion, life and fantasy. You don't need me breathing down your neck.

Lately I've been very out of it, and I have to apologize for that to anybody who reads this and knows me personally. Despite what you all think, it's not depression that has me so serious and somber, it is frustration. I'm afraid that I'm not going to get into that, this is a blog about life, not about me being an Emo kid for sympathy. God, I hate Emos. Just grow a pair guys. You and the Metrosexuals.

Yesterday was one of the best days I've had in a very long time. I woke up early, at 6 AM to be precise, and by 9 o clock I had already gotten in contact with Bre, started my driving lesson and been reading for over 2 hours. At around 12 o clock Bre came over. She usually doesn't come that early and I appreciate all of the extra time I spent with her. By 1 30 we had left the house and went to Tim's for her dinner. We went shopping after that for Britt, walking all around and going to several places. I ended up buying Britt a pair of earrings and a Hello Kitty plush doll. That was an. . . odd time I spent in the lineup. I'm a big dude- and I didn't really fit in with the very small mothers with their gaggle of children swarming around us. It was even more odd because of the doll. The mental image is enough to make some people smile.

We got back to my house around 4, we hung out for a little bit, and then Bre went home for supper. Then came quite the pleasing phone call; Bre invited me over to her house for supper and a bonfire. I quickly readied myself and waited for the pick up. Bre and her companions (Her Mother and Britt) swiftly arrived and I placed myself in the vehicle, much to my consternation and Britt's amusement. Have I mentioned how large I am? I'm sure I did. I had to bend my head very far down and my knees were almost touching my chest. In fact, my nose once touched the front seat. I wonder if Bre felt that?

We then proceeded to spend the night with the general merrymaking, although none of us are particularly party people, so it was generally just us sitting down and talking, which is more than alright and something I think people should do WAY more. Britt decorated her own cake, cause she's THAT awesome, and we had a small fire after eating fries and chicken. At around 9 30 I had to take my leave, I could see that Bre and Britt were tired. :P I also didn't want to bother Thomas, so I left by myself and walked home. It was a beautiful night out. I love walking at night, it's quiet, peaceful and everything just feels so clean. The only think I like more than walking at night is walking at night with somebody else. Maybe I'll do a blog on it sometime.

Today consisted of Math and Axe Cop the webcomic. No entertainment value at all, so I'll just leave today out of the blog.

So I guess I'm done. Good night people, and may whatever you worship bless you, or whatever you deny forgive you, in all faiths.
-Waldon

Waldon here. I feel horrible, as you may have been able to tell from this blogs entry title. As I've mentioned before, I am a type one juvenile diabetic. Tonight, my body decided not to cooperate again and send my sugar level skyrocketing again. This is a repeat of last week's ( or was it the week before? ) sick day for me. So, I think I'll have to keep this one short and sweet (Ha. That's a PUN. ).

So because the only interesting things that happened to me today was sorting dirty cans and having a couple nosebleeds, I'll talk about something different. The emotional effects of diabetes. Most people think that diabetes is purely physical, and for the most part, it is. But there are still things that pop up in the life of a diabetic that make our, or at least my own, life very difficult. Mostly it's the feeling of inequality. I find myself thinking about how I'm less than everybody. Or about how I shouldn't be here, I should be dead. It's a very mortifying subject to think about.

Diabetes will ruin you. That's the only way I can say it. It makes you feel like you don't deserve what everybody else has. I feel like I'm some blight on society and on particularly bad days I wish I hadn't been born. I've resolved never to have kids, for the one reason; never having the chance of passing on many of my physical defects onto my children. Diabetes, Osgood Schlatter's, Asthma, Distended Lungs, Compressed Heart, Deformed Ribs. . . Diabetes is the root of almost all of this, shaping my body from my first diagnosis. Since that was very early in life, I was kind of tainted, I suppose you could say.

I would love to have kids. There would be nothing more gratifying than being able to shape the life of a child and raise them. But I would never be able to live with myself if I gave them what I have. My life expectancy is low, so I can't hope to keep them happy either. Oh well, I'm sure the girl I like will find another man better for her than me.

Now I'd just like to point out that tonight, this is purely my blood sugar speaking, please don't assume that I'm some Emo kid thrashing about life. I'm not normally this bad. Ignore this, I'm kind of incapable of thinking of much else at the moment.

Good night everybody, I hope you have a good nights sleep.
-Waldon

Waldon here. Does anybody else ever forget that they're large? I do it ALL THE TIME. I looked in my mirror when I was getting changed into my bathrobe about half an hour ago and all I could see was the lower half of my ribcage. Then it dawns on me, I'm pretty big. I mean, it doesn't seem like something you could forget!

We had our Remembrance Day ceremony today for our school at the Pentecostal church. I had to read a poem for the ceremony. I also had to tell everybody to rise and stand for the Last Post and the minute of silence. Which sucked because then I had to stay standing on the stage in front of the hundreds of people until that was finished, which was awkward. I had to keep an eye on Mr Gibbs so that he could tell me when the minute was done without seeming to have my head up. It was. . . Odd.

Tomorrow is a day off, which is AWESOME. I think Bre and I are hanging out? I really hope so. I think she said something about Nikita doing something with her sometime soon too. I hope I'm involved in that. I haven't hung out with Nikita in AGES.

Anybody else ever feel like they're always breaking things, or hurting things? Bre and I were just talking about that. I'm always hurting people by accident and I feel horrible about it. I'm a big dude. Most things are rather small compared to me. When I'm walking around I always end up hitting things or people with my shoulders, or when people are punching me or something they'll damage themselves on me, or I'll forget how strong I am and I'll do something too hard and hurt them. That one feels the worst. It really does. I need to start wearing pillows all over me or something.

Almost all night tonight I've been playing a game on ArmorGames.com called Me and My Dinosaur. I spent HOURS playing it. It was awesome. It's the story of a boy who finds a dinosaur egg! He raises it and it becomes his best friend, but nobody else accepts his best pal, Rex. So the boy and Rex run away to find a place where Rex can be in peace. I haven't reached the ending yet, so I'm guessing I'll be working at the game for a while. :P

Anyways, I think I'm done for the night.
-Waldon

Waldon here! Happy Guy Fawkes Day everybody! Or Bonfire night, whatever you want to call it. Today was the day that we celebrate or remember the attempted treason of Guy Fawkes on the British Parliament, I believe.

It would have been a night to remember for years, if it wasn't pouring down rain. I mean, the one night of the year that I'm expected to burn things really big and it's RAINING. Come on. Give a guy a break.

I had to go get my Influenza shot this morning. I went down to our local Legion, where they were holding the shots. Makes me paranoid when there's medical facilities outside of a hospital. I feel like I'm being tested on again. I went through with it, anyways and continued on to school. Did everything normal and eventually it was lunch time. I forgot my glucometer in my locker, so I resolved to check my blood levels after I ate. I did so and guess what I was surprised with?

My blood level was so high, that my glucometer couldn't read it.

That is a level of 33.3 mmols or higher. That means my blood was likely 9 to 10 times higher than a normal person's. Possibly higher. Of course, because I KNEW that I was high, I started feeling horribly sick. I was dizzy, nauseous, tired and almost incapable of coherent thought. I ended up going home early and giving myself copious amounts of insulin. Diabetes sucks.

But it doesn't matter, I'm not going to die until I've lived long enough to see all my friends lead successful and happy lives. :P

Anyways, later on Bre came over and played Harvest Moon again. xD She loves that game. I was reading some Psyren and drinking coffee and eating cookies. I got Bre some Green tea, which I SHOULD be drinking. It brightened up my night/day when Bre came over.

By the way, I'm still really sorry Bre. I told you I would hang out with you if I didn't have improv practice, but I guess this makes me a liar. I'll make this up to you, I really will.

Well, this Guy Fawkes day mostly sucked. And with that, I'm done!
-Waldon

A few weeks ago my sister called me and asked if I would be willing to help her with a project her group was assigned with for her classes in university. I, of course, told her I would help. Her group was doing a project on physical and mental disabilities that hinder learning in school, or something similar. Her group was assigned, wait for it. . . Diabetes. I am a type 1 Juvenile Diabetic. I have been since I was 4 years old. There is nothing to me that doesn't revolve around Diabetes. The sheer coincidence of this is astronomical.

Of course, I immediately got started working out a rough draft on the essay I was going to write on how my school life was effectively screwed up by diabetes. Within 2 weeks I had a 1500 word essay on the subject. But of course, I was stupid when I sent the email and immediately deleted the email after I 'sent' it, and deleted the video.

Within two days I hadn't heard from her so I asked her if she got the email. She didn't. So I got down to it and rewrote it. Didn't have time to do the video though. Called her, asked her if everything was alright.

ALL SHE WANTED WAS JOT NOTES.

So, being the dutiful brother I was, I revised the entire 600 word essay and did it in jot notes. 3 times I did that email. I hope she's happy. Anyways, I thought I'd take up some more space by posting the email here;

"When I first started school, I clearly remember people not understanding me when I said I was diabetic. They automatically assumed that because I was different, I was dangerous. So many of the other kids who didn't know any different avoided me or teased me. This could have been avoided much earlier by having the teachers prepare the students by explaining to them what Diabetes was.

When first starting school, having students tease me regularly made me feel horrible about myself. Diabetes was something that was out of my control. Having the teachers make me stand in front of the class to explain what was different about me usually had the effect of making me feel like I was less than the other students, or for lack of a better term- a "freak". I myself would have preferred if the teachers didn't tell the other students about my diabetes so directly and explained it to them in a better way.

When I was first starting school I had to use direct insulin injections with a syringe. I was a young child, it was hard for me to remember to do that when I was eager to go outdoors or to try and make friends. If I forgot, I was usually sick within a few hours. Having a teacher take a greater role in my diabetes management would have been a great help for this.

People also didn't understand diabetes in the school environment. Many of the teachers only had a passing understanding of diabetes. Several times I've had to fight to make my teachers understand when I was having an emergency with my blood sugars or my insulin pump. Substitute teachers especially. This could have been avoided very easily with some proper education. And usually, I did keep most of the problems away by being prepared. I kept a case or a small pack filled with sugar for low blood sugars, test strips, for checking my blood glucose when I felt sick or low, and usually ketone strips just in case of emergencies.

In school, there were many things that I needed to have, but didn't because of my own folly, or a collective mistake. Many times I got low on insulin while in the middle of class, and had to call for Mom to bring me another change of set for my pump to last the day. There should have been somewhere for me to store supplies that I know will be a safe place.

I am almost finished my last year of high school now, and there are still people who have known me for almost my entire school life, but don't know anything more than the bare basics of diabetes, if I had an attack in school, there would be very few people who would know what to do to help me.

My pump is normally attached to one of two areas in my body that i use regularly. My lower stomach and my upper hind thighs. So because of that, the tube from the reservoir for insulin in my pump is usually hanging around my thighs. It regularly gets hooked on desks or handles. In school where there are many objects that have the potential to hook onto my pump, I have to be careful all the time. On several circumstances I've had things or people hook and pull on my tube hard enough to pull off my site.

Also, with the changes in blood sugar I experience, I regularly feel my emotions changing rapidly, this makes it very hard for me to talk to people when I'm having problems with my sugar."

Yesterday night, I spent some time reflecting on everything that I've been blessed with in my life. I gave thanks to whatever deity or spirit governs us all. One thing that the oncoming cold of winter made me give particular thanks to, was the blessing of shelter and warmth. So many of us don't realize how lucky we are to be inside and warm, away from the bitter cold outside. Humans as a whole do that. We see winter as a season of beauty and serenity where the snow buries everything under it's pristine white. But what about the animals that live in the snow? They don't have anything to keep them warm besides themselves. The winter to them is just one long period of suffering and hunger. Thinking about this allowed me to reflect and thank everything and everybody that gave me the gift of warmth and food for this cold, spartan, desolate season.

So, of course. This brought to mind the people who don't HAVE a place to live. The homeless people across the country that don't have a home to come to this season. They don't have a loving family to welcome them. As distant as I am from my family, and despite never actually HEARING it, I know that my family loves me. There are people across North America right now that are scrounging for their clothes and food in the cold. I want to help them. Of course, just this evening, my mother handed me a hat with a small symbol on it. The profits from that hat will go to supporting the homeless. I know that it won't make much of a difference, but at least it helps, right?

I've been working on new art styles and concepts to try out lately. One of these is taking an animal and merging myself, in a similar position to the animal, with it. I picked a gorilla screaming. I don't know what to think, because when I laid the image of my face over the gorilla face, I didn't have to change any of the lines. Should I brag about that?

Anyways, I've done my part for this evening. Good night everybody!
-Waldon

Waldon here, and I'd just like to say that I'm scared.

I have no idea what I'm scared of, but it's true. I think I'm one of those guys that are so scared, that they don't even realize that they're scared until later. This is my later. Like, I look around and I start looking behind me, listening really hard, smelling deeply, doing everything I can to understand everything! I wonder what I did to scare myself into this?

Ah well. HAPPY HALLOWEEN! A bit late in the blog, I know.

I went out trick or treating with Bre tonight. We went along with her brother and sister. I'm ashamed to admit that I cannot remember their ages. I'm sorry Bre, please forgive me. It's come as a great disappointment to me, but this year I have officially announced my Halloween retirement. I've finally become too large to trick or treat. I'll admit that not shaving was probably a bad idea for this particular night. I stood in front of the door, and I eclipsed the kids standing in front of me, AND the people in the doorway. It was a jarring slap in the face from reality. I've enjoyed you Halloween. I'll miss you. How I wish I could taste your candy corn. . .  just one last time.

I didn't even get to use my mask that I worked on for Halloween. It was too scary and I know that it would have scared Bre's siblings. It was called "the Elephant Man". Somebody said something about a movie called Trick or Treat? Anybody know what it is? I don't watch television or movies. It was a burlap sack on my head with gory eye sockets and I had a noose around my neck. I added a large stitched mouth to it later.

After trick or treating, we went back to Bre's house for a little while and watched "Scary Movie". Loved it. She also gave me some of her chocolate cake. I don't think she realizes how much that means to a diabetic. :P It's like being offered the fruit of Eden by a female god without repercussions.

Anyways, I'll be off now.  Good night, whomever reads this.
-Waldon

Waldon here. I just got back from our High School Halloween dance. It was fun, I haven't had such a good time in forever.

I won the prize for most "Serious" costume at our school. According to popular belief I was dressed up as "Elephant Man". I have no idea who this guy IS. All I know is that I made a noose, a burlap sack head, gory eye sockets and hand restraints. I don't know who that IS.

So a little later, I went to the dance. My friend Brandon had a cross on at the dance and I pulled on it by accident when he leaned back while I was looking at it. I felt something give way. In surprise, I looked down. In my hands I held the cross with a fully intact loop for the string on top. So of course, I quickly reasoned that this means that I snapped his string instead. I looked up, an apology quick on my lips. . . and stopped cold. The string was intact. The loop was intact. HOW? Of course, this warranted another visit to the dance floor to clean my mind of such traitorous thoughts that were flying through my head.

Turns out that there was a smaller metal loop that bends that fell off when I pulled. Go figure.

After another hour or so, it was time for us all to go, sadly. So Brandon and I started walking home. His house is rather close to mine, so we walked together for part of the way. I kept him laughing, I'm proud to say. Although, as time does, time passed and soon we parted. I walked the lonely road back to my house. There was a light rain overhead and it was nearly midnight. I was walking slowly through puddles and rivulets of dirty water. Thoughts came unbidden and unwanted. Parasitic emotions draining off the happiness of the night.

So of course, I have to be like every other angst filled emo kid in the world and blog about it. Anyways. Good night, everybody who reads this. Or, Good morning would be more appropriate, as it is now close to 1 am.
-Waldon